What's the secret to a happy marriage? One simple word


“It helps to remember that you’re on the same team,” added a young wife. “You don’t want to ‘win’ a fight because that means your spouse has to lose. It’s not you-versus-them; you want to be fighting for your marriage together”

" But you get the idea. Instead of being on the lookout for your spouse’s mistakes, look for things you can appreciate and say “thank you” for. Be intentional about showing respect. In humility, as Scripture says, value your spouse above yourself, looking not to your own interests by to theirs.

" But here’s the thing about kindness: It is not something we have or we don’t. The Bible says kindness comes with our salvation as the Holy Spirit transforms our hearts. “The fruit of the Spirit,” Paul writes, is “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Kindness, like all of these other God-given attributes, is available to us all"

"Which, actually, brings up some other interesting marriage research. According to a Wall Street Journal article that came out a few months ago, prayer makes a difference – even when one or both partners are being unkind. “When people pray for the well-being of their spouse when they feel a negative emotion in the marriage, both partners – the one doing the praying and the one being prayed for – report greater relationship satisfaction.”

" It will make you both happier.

Heavenly Father, May we be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ you forgave us ( Ephesians 4:32).


"These things all matter, of course. But when it comes to predicting long-term stability and satisfaction in marriage, kindness is what matters most.

Kindness counts."

I think it is interesting similarities between being kind and being compassionate. I really like the part about praying for the other person when you are unhappy with their behavior. Almost seems like a reverse meditation, that ends up benefiting both of you if done with the right mindset.


Another element of a happy marriage, I believe, is parenthood, which reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Parenthood (1989, Steve Martin). My daughter says it is an excellent TV series, as well.

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