So… I have wrote this article with the help of two beloved friends, and shared it with two other people with whom I might collaborate with, in either more articles or other creative forms of conveying this message, but here’s the “matrix” of it:
"Eros, Sexuality and Dreams - cultivating sexual energy into lucid dreaming and real relationships.
When I became fifty years old, I chose to stop masturbating, as I was inspired by a dream where my energy hands were not giving me pleasure but opening paths of light for me. I think this was my best birthday gift ever! This was a blessing to me being fifty years in this physical body!
This doesn’t mean that I no longer have sexual energy. On the contrary, it’s rising and expanding. What’s new for me is my ability to channel it. Even more consciously. I notice it rises in situations of polarity, also with some friends, which for me is normal and healthy, especially because I have many male friends, patients, colleagues, family, and so on. It’s a privilege to be able to recognize it and not project it on others, but instead utilize it for my own creativity. Sharing this with deep understanding is my priority in these words: Love and Real Relationships, where we have the privilege of being authentic with one another. When we are not authentic, we cut the connection between us and stifle the opportunity for co-creation.
Sexually repressed energy creates fantasies that:
- Occupy the mental space in a repetitive way, draining your energy;
- Create brain fog – diet here is a powerful way to transmute this along with cold and heat therapies and other approaches that strengthen the body and mind;
- Create a feeling of separation through confusion and secrecy, which often leads to a lack of communication and further separation;
- Feeds illusions, taking your focus and energy away from connection, creativity, positivity and/or constructing living.
When pure Eros is integrated families and friends can be affectionate with each other and even kiss on the lips, if they chose. Some people call this Sacred Eros and it helps navigating the inherent authentic sexual connection we all have with, and that is all around us. Yes, all around. It’s also in nature, in the stars, even the rocks. Eros is the intelligence of growth that supports us into moving from duality into polarity.
In this lifetime I have had the honor of having a healthy blueprint of masculinity shown to me through lived experience with a father, a brother and a son. Both my brother and son are dead now, but I remember that sometimes there was sexual energy, sometimes manifesting in the form of tension, between us. With my father this still exists sometimes, and sadly we cannot communicate properly because of the repressed sexual energy. Perhaps because of the fear of vulnerability expressed, there is a lack of deep communication, and we choose to keep distant.
Sexual energy is very useful and can be utilized as a catalyst when, for example, a man is looking into my cleavage and feels joy in that; it’s much more difficult for him to be rude or project negativity on me. There are a myriad of layers to working with Eros energy. Unacknowledged it can sadly become a shield between people. Illusions are then easily created, fantasies, projections “and all that jazz."
But it’s not just with family; this is true of all relationships, as our core themes play out in every single one. Here’s a list of all the beings with whom I transform my strong Eros. Eros, for me, is simply the pleasure of being alive, which opens us to receive the abundance of flow, connection, authenticity, and creativity. A polarity and the root to innocently cultivation of such energy can be found in, relating to, for me:
Men with whom I resonate, and that includes boyfriends and husbands of other women;
Clients and people I am a client of;
Children;
Other women;
Work colleagues;
Even strangers in public.
I draw connection and alchemy in connecting to my masters and my disciples and find it flows comfortably with my friends.
In nature I also find support in this practice from elemental entities and earth divas.
Finally, other sources of integration and cultivation are my teachers, my students and my notebook. Yes, you read well – my last sexual dream was having an orgasm, inside the dream and physically, with the touch of a silky notebook. Now I know that basically all the things I love, I can either multiply or dissipate my energy by how I relate to them.
And here’s what I engage in doing in order to transform it:
» Periods of Celibacy, without repressing the energy – singing, dancing, writing, connecting with the earth, planting seeds, creating art and beautiful things. Touching, seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting the world, and enjoying it from a place of Deep Love, Contemplation and Connection that ignites my inner fire, allowing me to also experience it with desire, passion, or pleasure, with consciousness and full responsibility for it.
» Focusing it into what I’d like to manifest from within. In some traditions, this is called “Sex Magic,” and I have practiced this for many years now; recently, I was initiated into an advanced version of this.
» From my experience, not having the orgasm and not masturbating is my chosen way of feeling the energy and its’ power at this time. With this, I can truly feel the electricity inside! When I feel it “bursting,” it’s when it’s ready to rise - as Tulku Lobsang and other masters say - up to down (male bliss) and then down to up (female bliss).
» This transcends the habituated longing for the release of tension, lust through pleasure, and death of consciousness inherent to the genital orgasm experience.
» From pure love that I am able to tune into, it electrifies me to dream more lucidly. Is this another expression of sexual energy? I think it is, just in another form. Still figuring that out!
» Tummo-Bliss Practice is another example of how this energy can be transmuted and used, allowing it to rise. I have noticed that my energy can also rise when I am in bed – it’s not necessary to be in an upright position.
» Lu Jong proposes other pelvic exercises that keep the uterus and body healthy.
» During meditation, especially when practicing Astral Projection, I can feel the element of water in my body, as well as my energetic body moving up and down, also spinning in different circular directions, having fun.
VERY IMPORTANT:
I believe I am able to do this because I have lived ALL the sexual fantasies I wanted in my life. When fantasy is satiated, it loses its charge and we no longer have the desire. I have always been very curious and luckily smart, which took me to watch my first porno film at the age of seven. I was thinking that perhaps it’s because of my rich previous experiences there is a sense of completion and integration. That part of me does not interfere with my current prayers, gratitude, practices and intentions. There’s no lure from the pull of “normal sex” anymore. I know what it is, and I now make different choices that I feel are healthier and satisfying for my soul. For some people going for the “normal” sex option it can be the first step toward a spiritual, energetic sexual experience of merging into connection and oneness with all things. Learning to do it in dreams is both healthy and safe, free from the entanglement and stories of human drama. Dreams here include imagining it in the state of vigilance (Jnanamudra practice). Trying to work out unconscious sexual patterns in the reality of everyday life can be very dangerous to our mental and energetic well-being. Either through practice or lived experience, you can arrive at a truly compassionate, non-judgmental recognition of sexual energies through experience and know when to allow a certain energy to come, or not.
Ultimately, this has become a choice to harness with sovereignty the positive benefits of my own sexual essence to support me in my life rather than be ruled by it."
Thanks for the inspiration! 
, half horse, talk about an Architype for fear, phobias, and spooky things:
also because it was an evolution from my first lucid dreaming experiences in adulthood - all sexual, several years ago.
sounds interesting 
he’s looking forward to share his experiences with me, and for me to share mine with Astral projection where I feel my energies. Perhaps because I’m giving more attention to this topic, and keep my astral projection daily practice, I am starting to have new energetic experiences 
