I hope these words all find you in the best of physical health and ease. Watching death of two people in the last few weeks, pushed me even furthur inwards. Witnessing the process of death, atleast from a outside point of view, is something which I was also very thankful for. Thankful to be there for the loved one, and thankful to be face to face with every of my own emotional rollercoaster throughout the witnessing. All fear, whilst witnessing, is my own fear of my own death. This was a grateful (not to be mistaken with always pleasant vibrations) experience / practice.
Personally, for me the best “practice” / way of life / experience / is resting in our own being / awareness moment to moment. Night and Day. Of course, this is easier said than done. Self realization only is a moment, stabilisation is the KEY. Resting in awareness, fear is impossible, it is only a thought.
I do not know if there is a being alive who maintains this awareness throughout every moment of our 24h time circle. Catching myself “falling asleep” numerous times through out the day, be it in conversation with others, or in my own thoughts, or whilst in activity.
Even tougher at night, becoming lucid in dreams on a regular basis throughout the last years, after having many experiences throughout my childhood. My dream practice, is to jump into mirrors, to exit a dream, and to stay alert in the void, for any new appearance that my arise, not to get involved, but to stay in this alert awareness of our own being. often times, losing this in a blink of an eye to a false awakening, or switching to the waking state. Only in one occasion, have I had the experience of becoming aware in deep sleep (where I must add, the “gap” between two dreams, which i consider the void when exiting a dream through a portal) for a blink of an eye, before mind realized this and waking up to the waking state.
Having also had more than enough of psychedelic experiences with mushrooms and DMT, and also in meditations, It is so clear to me that “ground zero” is plain awareness of awareness, whatever may arise after the dissolution of body, is just another appearance in awareness / conciousness, manifesting itself in which ever way.
I would never dare to say “I am not scared of death”. I believe nobody can truly say this, as long as we are not in the process of acually dying. As mind is the only thing to be afraid of death, mind may panik, the question is, can we stay relaxed as the witness to this, and maintain stability in witnessing throughout the whole process. To my understanding when correlating to the buddhist teachings, staying aware and NOT REACTING to all arisings after and during the dissolution of body/mind, is key and freedom of rebirth. Please correct me if im wrong.
To summarize, self realization is the tool, to navigate through life and death. life is there to stabilize realization, throughout all change. a life long task, or many life tasks.
thank you for all of your time.