Hey dreamers community,
My name is Marianne. I am 34 years old and live in Munich.
I found my way to the Night Club through the current dream summit and Andrew Holoceks talk. I was very impressed by his knowledge. Some weeks ago I already found a Facebook ad for one of his courses and was interested - however I didn’t know him at that time yet…
My relationship to dreams is a special one…
I have always been interested in the more spiritual aspects of life. My first childhood memory is that I was standing in the supermarket and asking my mom “why am I here?” - she tried to explain me the biological part of it aka “mommy and daddy really liked each other…” etc. In that moment I realized, ok there are certain things I cannot ask my parents because the don’t understand me.
In my teen years I studied the Bible while my friends went out to party - in order to find answer. I couldn’t find any answers. Buddhism especially Tibetan Buddhism really draw my attention… without even knowing why. I even tried to study Tibetan language and wanted to travel there - however this was before the Olympic Games and the riots in 2008.
When I went to university (17years ago) I left my parents house and a new world opened up. I did my first yoga sessions, came across the concept of mindfulness and started meditating. One thing led to the other and I bought the book “the Tibetan yoga of dream and sleep” by Tenzin Wagyal. I didn’t finish the book because back then I came to the conclusion that this type of work could only be realized for monks living far away from modern society. I just found this too challenging.
Somehow I forgot about it. I went some years for work to Bolivia instead… I found myself in the spaciousness of the Altiplano and always thought about the images of Tibet I knew.
Very rarely I could ever remember my dreams. I tried to write a dream diary many times in my life but didn’t succeed. In retrospective I guess my intention and my discipline were simply not big enough.
Then something changed. I had a very special dream - shortly before I got pregnant. During pregnancy something opened up and I was able to recall my dreams much more often. In the hypnagogic state I could see animals as if they were standing in front of me. I could see every single hair of their fur… everything was CLEAR. Then my son was born - a very challenging time began because my son was a “very bad” sleeper. (plus single mom from the beginning) I am convinced there is a reason for that. Maybe the vails between the sleeping and waking world are very thin for him.
Anyways - the first time in my life I started to have severe problems with my sleep. Until my son become 3,5 years old we had many nights (almost every night), where he woke up every hour and many times couldn’t fall asleep again for hours. It was a super hard time for me, because when he finally slept I couldn’t fall asleep anymore. You can imagine first I was physically completely depleted and ofter some time I entered into a dark state also mentally. Even the tinies thing like going to the grocery store was a huge thing for me - because I couldn’t sleep.
So it seems like the birth of my son kind of forced me to look at the topic of sleep and dreams again. Now he is 4 years and still many issues with his sleep (nightmares, pavor nocturnes - maybe sleep paralysis…)
Interestingly enough my son received shortly after his birth the name Yohualtezkatl from a Mexican shaman from the Nahuatl tradition which means “mirror of the night/obsidian/unconscious”. I met this shaman “by coincidence”… but maybe not. who knows.
Some months ago I found a missing piece in all that. I did a Yoga Nidra Teacher training and the instructor talked about southamerican dream traditions. So I found the work of Sergio Magana - and his book about the toltecan obsidian mirror.
Immediately I thought back of the name my son received by this Mexican shaman… and I understood that something is pointing me back - very clearly to the topic of dreams and sleep…
So now I am here… no idea where all this leads to - but I feel I am back on track what life was trying to show/teach me already 17 years ago…
I started practicing certain methods to recall my dreams, started writing a dream diary again and I can see I am making some progress.
I am totally thrilled to be part of this community and can’t wait to dive deeper into the work of Andrew.
Thanks for reading <3 There would be much more to say… but for now I leave it here. Feel free to ask me any questions.