Physical Injury and Dreams (help?)

Hi Everyone,

I haven’t been posting for a while, even though I’m checking what’s going here from time to time.
The reason for it is that I’ve hurt myself badly while exercising (weight lifting, most likely) about 4 months ago now, and things haven’t been easy.

For those who want to know the full story (until this undesired event), feel free to read my first post.
Basically, I’ve always been really interested in Dream Yoga since a kid/teen, but became really sick when I was 17 after an hypnosis session at school (IBS/fibromyalgia/I.C. and mental breakdown included), so I couldn’t actually go on with my studies. I started looking for ways to heal myself as doctors turned out to be pointless, read millions of books, tried all kinds of diets, fasting, experiences, therapies etc. Finally learned about psychedelics, tried them on my own, went to Peru for Ayahuasca and more, drank 46 times, came back “home”, healed from a traumatic Ayahuasca ceremony through a lucid dream the night before the beginning of a LD retreat with Charlie Morley and since then, been trying to heal myself through correcting my diet (currently mostly Carnivore, though not exactly strict) and working on my mind through different means, while giving a few English lessons a week for a living. I tried self-studying Web Development, but have been too ill to do it. As of now, I’m living with my parents in a tiny village of La Creuse, France.

That should set the scene.

Now here’s what happened. On the first of July, I was kind of recovering from a heartbreak/sentimental disappointment (disease hasn’t made things easy on that level). And as usual I worked out in the evening, maybe a little intensely but in a motivated, joyful way. Sports and Music have been keeping me alive through tough times.

I had increased a bit the weight (from 4 to 5kg), and it may seem like nothing, but it made a difference. While exercising, I must somehow have strained the back of my neck/cervicals/whatever is there, because one hour later, I was losing my mind. The pain became intense in my neck, basis of head and back, my whole body started to shake uncontrollably, I felt un-grounded, disconnected and terrified. I ended up going to the ER seven times in one month. Painkillers of all kind, doctors being pointless, as often. Days and Nights terrifying, like I was on a bad psychedelic trip, except it was never ending. I was losing my mind at night, the hypnagogic state turned into horrendous images, scenes, thoughts, emotions. After a month of this, a doctor in a smaller hospital finally figured my nerves must had been affected. I was given morphine and two painkillers for the nerves (Lyrica and Laroxyl) and felt a slight improvement, although almost constantly “tripping” out of touch with reality.

I’ve been thinking about putting an end to this all a lot, but as I am deeply convinced of the reality of Karma, and the impact on my next possible existence, I can’t. Plus, I can’t hurt my mom. During one ceremony (Ayahuasca) I once experienced the sadness and suffering of my mum if I were to put an end to my life. I felt her love, the love of a mother of a child. I cried all the tears of my being.

It’s been almost 4 months, and I’m still in a really difficult situation. I’m living in a region of France where most doctors and therapists are living about One hour from here. And we don’t exactly have a lot of money, and given the situation, I can’t move on my own in an apartment, maybe it be physically speaking or financially speaking. Also, because of everything that’s happened before, I haven’t got my driving license – although I managed to get my theory test last month – which makes things even more complicated. I’m quite isolated, so I’m trying to find ways to connect to more people. Every “student” I have, is a little spark of joy for me (my lessons are given through Skype). And I know I’m bringing them Something. And every time I meet or happen to know of somebody with some health issues, I help them the best I can. Many French people don’t have access to what’s going on outside this small country because of language barriers. Hence, I’m oftentimes acting as a “Bridge” or translator, allowing people to access information. I learned an awful lot about diet, and unfortunately (?) and without the least sense of pretention, I’ve come to learn more about food, diet and health, than most doctors know about. [EDIT: I mean, definitely doctors I’ve seen. None of them have thought about diet. And medical studies include very little teaching about it. Except for the S.A.D. - Standard American Diet - which is why we’ve got so many issues nowadays. French doctors ain’t any better. Also I really do not mean I know it all about diet. That’s a complex topic. Edit over] Except people like Ken Berry, Eric Berg or Jason Fung, obviously. And I don’t mean I know it all, but I keep on learning all the time, and do not stop myself to what I think is true, or what I’ve been told.

Anyway. The pain isn’t stopping. It’s day and night, and intense most of the time. And on some days, I lose the will to everything. Dreams and Dream Yoga (now we’re getting a little more to the point! -sorry about the rant) have been difficult to work with since then. I’ve had dreams and dreams or people losing their head, people cutting heads, of getting my head twisted and my spine twisted. I’ve had nightmares in which the pain is so intense (staying in the same position for 2h can be dramatic) that my dreams turn into ayahuasca visions of horror. Where I’m threatened to go to hell if I commit suicide. And also those nights where the pain is so bad I can’t sleep anymore, but I’m just like… physically tortured. The pain doesn’t care the tears. Crying for one hour doesn’t make your torturer stop. And even when I do manage to fall asleep and sleep “okay-ish” as soon as I open my eyes, the strikes start over again. Like I’m being punched, or stabbed again and again, without being able to do something about it.

It’s been hard to work with dreams, which was one of my main way to work on my mind (I don’t want to do psychedelics on my own again). I still manage to write/type down some of them in the morning but I really have to force myself, for the pain is so confusing upon waking up. Sometimes I don’t even understand where I am or what’s happening to me, lost between the previous experience and this one. There are also a few rare nights where I get to dream about something nice, or beautiful, or peaceful… but it easily turns into something different.

I’m a bit lost. Really. I’m typing this today, because after the night I had, I thought I had nothing to lose saying what was going on here, on this community, and that maybe dream-wise people would have an idea of what I could do. I’m opened to any suggestion.

Meditating is really difficult. The pain is so intense, for the first 2 months and a half, I couldn’t stay still in silence, eyes closed or even open, because the symptoms would become even more clear.
Lately, I’ve kind of gave up Shamatha/Zazen and all kind of “traditional” practice. I’ve turned more to hypnosis, self-hypnosis/Prayer (a controversial word, ikr, but let me explain).

Lately two books/authors have been kind of keeping me alive. Their names are Joseph Murphy (The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind) and Neville Goddard (Feeling is the Secret etc…). I believe their writings and ideas were, and are still, brilliant. Regardless of what people may say. It’s not about Enlightenment, but – however – it is connected to the workings of the mind and even to How Dreams Work. For those who are curious to learn more about it, feel free to look it up.

When it comes to sleep, in those practices, the point is more about to “perfume” (to quote a term used by Andrew I really like) sleep through thoughts and feelings. It’s not about Becoming Lucid, but about Influencing the dream and long term, the unconscious. But it’s still hard for me to do. Falling asleep is painful and scary. So I do my best, listening to peaceful classical music before sleeping (that’s a really different routine from what I used to do before for dream yoga) and of course, during the day, trying to get into a relaxed state of mind to influence (through thoughts and feelings… music helps. The Lord of The Rings soundtrack is one of these.) the Subconscious/Deeper Mind.

In those writings, it doesn’t go as deep as in Andrew’s books, and Buddhist understandings (the psyche, the substrate, clear light mind) but there are still really interesting things to be found. And I also better understand why I was unable to “make things happen” in lucid dreams. Words are carriers of meaning or ‘energy’ (I sometimes cringe using this word, sounds so new-agey!).
But words in themselves have no inherent power. That’s the meaning, the feeling that has the power to impact the mind.

I’m currently trying different things to help with the pain. Everything I can. But again, I’m not well situated geographically-wise. But through weird coincidences (aka, synchronicities!?) I’m finding people that lead me to the next step…

Next week I’m going to see another osteopath (the best friend of the father of one of my student, who turned out to be the best guitar teacher I’ve ever had! Teaching English is definitely a good thing) and also this apparently truly weird lady (psychic?) that I’ve heard of through someone in my village, who – she said – was (really) old, crazy, strange, quite fat, talked loudly, smoke and had plenty of cats (so – apparently everything “un-”spiritual), and yet upon entering her room without asking you anything, would tell you mind-bending stuff about you, your past, present, future. She doesn’t ask for much money, she’s retired. And she just had a basic, almost bleak, visit card with her name and number on it. Well, we’ll see if anything comes up.

I’ve come to this point where the physical suffering (hence mental) becomes so unbearable throughout the day that sometimes I just want to exit my body. I want to escape the suffering. And I know what spiritual people will say about suffering. But sometimes, I just… I want to leave my body. I want to feel GOOD again. I want to be free. So I don’t care if it’s a drug (oh, I wish cannabis was legal here.) or a doctor, or a prayer, or a vision from a crazy-old-fat-smoking-multiple-cats-owning

I have goals in mind. Personal desires as well as compassionate desires. I’m dreaming of helping people. The suffering I’m experiencing and that I’ve experienced for now, what, 8 years, have made it an emergency for me to help others. That’s always what I’ve wanted to do when I was young, even when I wanted to be a dentist, or in the army (but I changed my mind, obvi) or a biomechanical engineer (thanks Word autocorrect system for that word. And I’m teaching English, ha!).

I want to live, and I want to live Fully. I want to break through this. It’s been the toughest period of my life so far, even though I’ve already been through a lot with chronic disease and the whole Ayahuasca adventure.

I’m at this point where, if I could pay any Dream Yoga Master like Andrew or Anyone of this level, for him or her to obtain a Dream of Clarity for me, I would do it. I really would, if that’s a thing, or if we can make it a thing. I guess it’d be akin to asking a Shaman to do an Ayahuasca ceremony to get answers or help for someone… Though I’d rather trust a Dream Yoga master. But I’ve never seen anyone doing this. Currently, it’s really hard to work on dreams by myself and I do need external help. I pray “help” and feel what it’d feel like to be finally rescued (because that’s how it is right now, the whole situation) so that I can finally be free to live my life fully and give ‘my own gift’ to the world.

Sorry for writing so much and sorry if my writing is unclear or confused, but I needed to share this on a different place than on my Journal. I wrote this on a whim, in one sitting, and don’t want to edit indefinitely my words to make this post perfect, so I’ll leave it as it is now. I just really needed it to be “out there” so that I could simply be seen and acknowledged. That’s already more than enough to me.

Thanks for reading.

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Hey Guillaume, I’m sorry you are going through such a rough time. It sounds awful. One way to talk with @Andrew would be via the Virtual Hangouts, which happen regularly. You could talk to him live (via Zoom) and/or submit questions ahead of time. Maybe he would have some advice for you.

Night Club guest Clare Johnson has an interesting short article called Healing the Body in Lucid Dreams. Have you tried that? I don’t know if that would help, but it sounds like you’re in “try anything” mode. Speaking of Clare, and since you are looking for connection, she has a 30-day (web-based) course starting November 30th (“The Power of Dreams: A 30-Day Journey into Lucid Awareness, Dream Wisdom, & Joyful Living,” details here) that may be of interest. It apparently includes an optional Facebook discussion group. I follow her on Twitter and she has mentioned that she doesn’t want cost to be a barrier for people, so you could probably get a scholarship. Or you might want to just write to her and ask her for advice. I think she’s pretty responsive to people writing to her about dream-related matters.

I also want to support what you said here:

I’ve been thinking about putting an end to this all a lot, but as I am deeply convinced of the reality of Karma, and the impact on my next possible existence, I can’t. Plus, I can’t hurt my mom. During one ceremony (Ayahuasca) I once experienced the sadness and suffering of my mum if I were to put an end to my life. I felt her love, the love of a mother of a child. I cried all the tears of my being.

I’ve been suicidal, and it was knowing what that would do to my family and friends that gave me the determination to live. I knew very well the impact it would have on others because I lost someone very close to me by suicide – that’s what caused my own spiral into suicidal depression – and I didn’t want to cause anyone else to go through that horrific grief and loss. Reading about the supposed karmic implications of suicide for one’s individual consciousness was also terrifying to me, as you note – but whether that’s true or not, suicide is like a karmic bomb going off in the lives of everyone who loves you (if you ever need a reminder of that, the song Jonah by Stuart Davis works for me).

I’m glad you are able to teach others remotely, and that that brings you comfort and purpose.

Good luck with your healing journey and your dream yoga journey. I hope that you are able to find relief from the chronic pain afflicting you.

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@TheNewOneironaut I am sorry to hear of your condition and sincerely hope you get better very soon.

Since you did ask, I presume that it is ok to share my thoughts, if not, please ignore my post.

For me the tibetan saying makes a lot of sense: „If you have a problem with a tooth, go to the dentist, not to the lama.“

If I’d be in such a situation, I‘d quickly get an MRI scan if you haven’t already gotten one. Let the medical pros check you up. I wouldn’t take any chances with the spine or neck/nerves.

If they don‘t get farther, search for a professional American chiropractor who got a degree in American Chiropractics. In the U.S. this is a multi year study with a Doctor degree.
European chiropractors or even osteopaths have generally a much lower level of training.
Having had myself some issues with my neck nerves and spine some years ago, I was lucky to have found an American Chiropractor close to where I live. Ironically, he is an ex-patriot french man.
If you want his contact, you can send me a pm.

Since the physical pain situation appearantly still dominates everything else - and strongly influences mind and emotions - I’d personally strongly focus on finding the right medical solution for this first.

All the best!

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Totally agree, sometimes because pain lessens we may think we are getting better but we may only be getting used to the pain. Best to get it checked out ASAP.

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Thank you all so much for your replies !

Just reading you is heartwarming! And thanks also to those who’ve taken some of their time to read my post. That’s really cool. I no longer feel like I’m alone, and just this is GREAT!

Ok, so for the personal replies:

@ArthurG Thank you! This is a fantastic idea. :grinning: I’ve thought about taking part in those Virtual Hangouts. I’ve been receiving regular emails about it, but since I’ve been unable to practice Dream Yoga/Lucid Dreaming (including before the accident, my symptoms were still interfering a lot with my sleep) I felt like I shouldn’t be there… But actually I’d love to. I’m still interested in all the Stuff that’s going on, and by what Andrew is teaching. But I was so discouraged by my health issues, I didn’t even finish Dreams Of Light :pensive: But thinking about it, it could be really awesome, and would bring some social connection to my life :grinning: I’m already part of a meditation group twice a week (but we do something different, it’s kind of a Loving-Kindness practice), so I wouldn’t say no to another one. Even twice a week! I guess I was just a bit shy to try, but… I’m gonna have a look which session works with my timezone. That could be life-changing in many ways. The other zoom-group I’m on has already helped me a lot. Thanks so much. How many people are there in general during these calls ? Just curious to know.

Totally into the “try anything” mindset. I’d bought one of her book on Audible but same here, I kinda had given up. Healing myself through dreams to prove the power of the mind was kind of my goal, but maybe I’ll make it happen differently. I’ll still have a look on the program !

And thank you about your kind words, and for sharing about this. It’s kind of strange, because in this situation, when I feel suicidal it’s because the physical pain becomes unbearable and I want it to end. I’ve felt suicidal before for more emotional reasons. But here, I’ve sometimes felt like someone being physically tortured and who just wants to escape his own body. A few weeks before the accident, I watched a documentary by Tom Hanks called “Return with Honor” which is about several prisoners of the Vietnam war who were held hostages and tortured for about 8 years for some. I don’t know how they survived it. I had been pondering a lot about it when all that happens. And suddenly I felt like I had brought myself in a situation of self-inflicted physical torture.

But as you said, what’s preventing me to do such a thing, is to also think about the impact it’d have on others. Regardless of consequences on a potential “next life”, even if part of me believes in it, I’m mostly interested in being Happy in this one. And that means, making sure those I love are happy, too. I’m surrounded with people who care for me. Even the people in my small village know and care. And both my parents do, now. So, this, and my dreams/goals (to be what I want to be and help people) are reasons for my to stay Alive, in spite of everything. Thank you so much again, Arthur. Its heartwarming.


@KhyungMar And @_Barry
Thanks so much for your messages and recommendations ! So, I didn’t precised it, but the thing is I had an X-Ray of my spine (which showed nothing) and then an MRI of my spine (upper part) and NOTHING. Not a nerve pinched, not a nerved torn, not a… Nothing.
I was then sent to a Neurologist, who did a hundred tests on me, and … nothing
When I went to the hospital (ER) for the last time (beginning of August - before seeing the neurologist), I was crying out of pain. The skin of my whole skin was burning (sign of neuropathy) and I felt like, electric wires everywhere. My face was burning, just walking (touching the ground) was burning and so on… I felt like I was losing control of my organs, of my balance, of my sight. It was terrifying. That’s when they prescribed me the drugs, which kind of helped and help, but that’s about it.

The Neurologist ended saying my symptoms were real (obviously) but since he couldn’t figure out why, in his medical report, he concluded it was caused by stress (sentimental disappointment) and exercising. And… what am I supposed to do ? Like, “Nothing, just take your meds. Have a good day.”

I didn’t know if I was supposed to cry or laugh, so I chose the latter.

@KhyungMar oh my, I WISH we had actual Chiropractors here. I totally agree, chiropractors in Europe are really not the same. I’ve seen two, and they exclusively work on the spine. I know how they work in the US, and how they could help, even for my stomach. French Osteopaths, in my opinion… Aren’t just as good as american chiropractors. That’s closer to what they do, but still not it.

I’m actually going to see another Osteopath this afternoon. Turns out to be the best friend of the father of one of my student (who also turned out to be the best guitar teacher I’ve ever seen, so I trust him! It was him who recommended him to me) so I’ll give it a try. He told me he was really, really good. So, we’ll see.

On a purely physical level, I’m convinced there’s something going on the level of the nerves. Also, many of the muscles of my neck and upper back are pretty tense, some were completely wooden up to recently. I’ve been given Baclofen but it hasn’t worked super well. Plus I’m not supposed to take it while taking morphine, but I can’t stop taking morphine for the moment.

Ah, and to end on a brighter note, I had a good night’s sleep last night. I definitely have to take my medication before going to bed. It kind of gets me ‘high’ in a really unpleasant way, but that’s the only way for me to fall asleep. I woke up okay, now the pain’s kicking in. It’s starting from my neck, but then it goes everywhere, kinda like wires spreading through my body. Definitely nerves…

We’ll see what the Osteopath says this afternoon.

Thank you everyone for your support. it’s pretty cool.

Hope to see you during one of these Virtual Hangouts…

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Hey, does anyone know how many people usually show up to @Andrew’s virtual hangouts? @Night.Club? They are scheduled when I work, so I haven’t been to one for a long time.

@TheNewOneironaut, I’m glad what I wrote was helpful. Something else I thought about: your pain is making your dream practice more difficult; have you worked with liminal dreaming (hypnagogia/hypnopmpia)? That might be easier for you currently. Night Club guest Jennifer Dumpert talks/writes about that. Dumpert also hosts a (free) monthly Dream Circle via Zoom that may interest you. Each month we test out a different oneirogen [“any substance, practice, or experience that promotes or enhances dream states”], though that part is optional. You might enjoy the community aspect of the calls, and the interesting talks on dreams by Jennifer.

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@TheNewOneironaut How did the osteopath session go? I tried sending you a PM but I am not sure if it worked. Just for info, my American Chiropractor is located 40min by car from Frankfurt Airport, perhaps an option if you don’t find one closer by.

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I remember anywhere between 40-80-100 people, sometimes more. You don’t have to be an Emerald member so it is always well-attended.

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I’m gonna give a go to the Book Study group. It’ll be 2am here, but as of now, my schedule is kind of relaxed so I can make it. Otherwise, I’ll try and find a day and time where a Virtual Hangout works for me. It’d be really cool.

Concerning the Liminal State, basically that’s what I’m focusing on now. At first, I was terrified because when I was falling asleep (it still kind of happens, but to a lesser degree) the hypnagogic state would turn into something close to delirium (just as bad as some “bad trips” I had). So, going to bed and falling asleep was really scary, and even during the day, sitting quietly, closing my eyes was horrendous. I would completely lose control over it and it would “go wrong” every time. I had to keep on moving all the time to stay anchored into my body.

For the past month it’s been a little better, so I try to take some time during the day to sit in an armchair and induce a relaxed state and try to embed ideas into my mind. That’s kind of what "The Power of Your Subconscious " by Joseph Murphy is about. But, I’m gonna have a closer look to Jennifer Dumpert’s work. I’ve worked less with the Hypnopompic state, but I know that upon waking up, most of the time lately, I feel comfortable to some extent. That’s generally the best moment of the day for me, so it could be interesting to see how things could go on from here. I’m just hesitating: Should I try to write down my dreams, or remain into that state and work with it? Because obviously, sitting up to write down my dreams puts a stop to that state. Even if I try to relax and meditate/visualize/“pray” afterwards, it’s not just as deep as upon waking up and staying still.

Ah, and Oneirogens sound REALLY interesting. For a while I wanted to try Galantamine but it’s difficult to obtain in France, as it is a prescription drug ! But now that you’ve mentioned this, considering the current situation, I wouldn’t mind some external help or support in the form of a plant or supplement… I had a quick look, I could get it from the UK or even Russia! Hurray!

@KhyungMar I think it went well, but I’m waiting a bit to see how things unfold. He basically told me my occiput had been affected by the effort and that my cranial nerves had been pinched or something. He seemed to know what he was doing… But he was quite brutal in my opinion… I surrendered and trusted him the best I could. He told me he needed to see me a second time and that that’d do it. So we’ll see… I slept okay the following night, I took my pain meds. Last night was really okay, too.

And yes, got your PM, it worked ! Thanks so much for the recommendation. If needed, I may just go for it and contact him.

And thanks @_Barry for the information! That sounds good to me. I’d need to check if going for the Emerald option is worth it for me. Definitely later, when I’ll be back to “full-time” practice :grinning:

One last thing, I just watched a new video from Dr. Ken Berry this morning. Since the accident, I have been kind of cheating on my diet a lot (Many extras. Croissants and stuff, couldn’t help it, I’m french!!)

But after watching this video - he talks about how diet can even affects the repairing of damaged nerves - I may just go back to something more “disciplined”

If anyone suffers from chronic inflammation or pain, it could be worth watching…

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Try working with Tenzin Wangyal’s dream yoga protocols in The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep . On page 83 (“Protection”) he outlines a wonderful way to prepare for sleep followed up during the night by his classic dream yoga protocols (“The Main Practice”) that are centered on breathing techniques along with chakra visualization.

I have found that these protocols can lead to greater control in the liminal state between dreams.

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Dream journaling proved invaluable for me…I have a dozen 9x12 note pads filled with dreams from the last three years.

I found that getting up during the night to journal dovetailed well with the Wake and Back To Bed (WBTB) lucid dreaming protocols.

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This is brilliant, @Steve_Gleason!

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Thanks a lot @Steve_Gleason
There were nights I was so scared by what was going on in my mind (loss of control) I would literally sleep with this book in my arms ! Last night, as per your suggestion, I simply tried to visualize myself being filled with Light, and it helped a lot. It also seems like the pain is less intense lately (maybe since the last osteopathic treatment?) and I’m able to better practice.

One practice that is not exactly “strictly spiritual” but has proven to work and makes me feel safe is to mindfully listen to music in the evening. Especially Classical. That’s a form of mindfulness meditation after all (!?), but only the object is sound… Last evening, we listened to the Lord of The Rings soundtrack. Especially the last few tracks from the third movie (“The Crack of Doom” and on, for those interested!). Those pieces are immensely beautiful. Howard Shore must be a kind of musical Bodhisattva :thinking: I like to thing of the Ring as an Embodiment of ego, and the whole story as a metaphor for the spiritual journey… Anyway. Once evil is vanquished, everything becomes peaceful and the music is absolutely heartbreaking in the most wonderful way. One of the rare movies that has me crying every single time. Sometimes I wonder… Maybe, the same soundtrack is being played upon Enlightenment. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:
Anyway, thanks for the recommendation.

Unfortunately, I didn’t attend to the Book Study group on Thursday :pensive: I hadn’t understood you had to be a premium member, or pay for the Book Study event. Considering it’s occurring at 2am my time, it’s not really convenient for me. Also considering my financial situation and the cost of treatments (e.g.: osteopathy and hypnosis and everything else… those are not reimbursed), I figured that for now, I would rather join the Q+A with Andrew. It’ll be 10pm my time on Thursday, which is fine. I need to take the drugs an hour or two before sleep for them to take effect. So that’d be ideal. Plus, I think I have a question for Andrew, so that’d be great ! :grinning: When I feel better physically and ready to immerse myself fully into Dream Work again, investing into it will be totally worth it. For now, I won’t be able to truly commit… Hopefully, things will change soon enough.

Also, excellent advice (again) @Steve_Gleason. I decided to write down my dreams again upon waking up (taking it more seriously) and then meditate. It seems to work well, and last night turned out to be insightful. I can’t write down my dreams in the middle of the night too much for the moments as the pain/symptoms can prevent me to fall asleep again, but that’s a good start!

I’ve tried to write down my dreams on both a notebook and on my phone but… nothing seems to beat the good ol’ notebook/dream journal for me. I use a red light in the morning to see what I’m writing. A tip I learned from Peru !! It’s a lot easier on the eyes when you’re sleeping in the dark.

Any tips on writing down dreams in the morning !? I know many people say “don’t move upon waking up” BUT what works for me is also to sit up in my bed as soon as my alarm to go off. If I don’t do it, I just end up zzzzz… again. When I was in my apartment in Rouen two years ago, I would literally Jump out of bed, turn off the alarm on my phone (which was on the sofa on the opposite side of the room), turn on a dim light, and then go back to bed, opening my dream journal, reaching for my red flashlight, and finally sitting cross legged. I’d then close my eyes to “look inward”, relaxing, letting memories come back to the surface… And memories from the night would pop up like bubbles. It worked wonders, I was writing my dreams for 30 minutes in the morning and usually wasn’t done when it was time to move on…

I hope I’m gonna be able to go back to this in a little while. I do love dream yoga. But lately, so much is going on, I’m confused about what to prioritize and what to do. But I’m grateful for all the support I’m finding here. Thanks everyone, really. :hugs:

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The only journaling tip that I can offer is to find a system that is not stressful and is easily repeatable.

I do want to underscore, again, the value in finding ways to do more journaling. Just write down anything that sticks in your mind so that you fortify the dream’s presence in your waking state.

A strong journaling habit increases clarity and presence in the ensuing dreams. With increased clarity and presence the dream will stay with you longer and stronger in the liminal state between sleep and waking…and that liminal state is where the real magic happens, imho.

I have come to believe that strong liminality gives us brief access to a more primordial state of consciousness.

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That’s actually a really nice point. One of my issue was that I want (and especially wanted) to do too many things in the morning. A crazy kind of routine, and that ended up being stressful.

How much time do you usually spend on your dream Journal ? Also, do you meditate afterwards ?
I’m really thinking about just keeping my morning practice to dream journaling, a bit of meditation (visualization, as of now) and maybe a bit of yoga to stretch my neck :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: But I want to keep things simple…

About the injury, I saw the osteopath a second time on Wednesday and he was able to unblock my neck to the point I can turn my head completely again ! It really cracked this time, but the difference at the end of the session was HUGE. The pain is still here for now, but I take it as a big progress. That’s excellent news.

Finally, for the first time, I took part in the Q+A with Andrew Zoom session. That was awesome ! I should do that more often :grin: It definitely motivated me, seeing and hearing from such deeply motivated and implicated people. I’m really going back to the practice. Slowly but surely.

Yes! Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoché talks about it in Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep… It’s happened to me before, upon waking up, where for just a few seconds, my mind is completely “fresh”. I have not yet remembered who I am, nor what’s going on in my life… My mind feels fresh and luminous. Until my sense of identity comes back in full strength and “my problems” with it :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

It’s truly a wonderful state…

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Well…as an older guy who is still working I am a bit of an anomaly. I am always in bed before 9:00 and I get up naturally every morning just before 5:00. I sit quietly before bed in the dark studio for 20 minutes or so breathing and letting my thoughts and emotions drain away.

I wake up naturally during the night after strong dreams. Each time I hold on to the liminality for as long as possible and then sneak into the music studio to quickly journal the dream. I write it out on a white notepad with the light on. Sometimes I write the entire dream out…if it is that powerful. Other times I just jot down enough to help me recall it in the morning. I usually spend 15 - 30 minutes (sometimes more) in meditation around 2:00 AM (WBTB). That often leads to my strongest dream period.

As it happens, between last night and this morning I journaled seven dreams, one of which filled an entire page. I woke up feeling clear and refreshed and feeling as if I had just simply transitioned from one state of awareness to another.

My strongest meditation period is between 6:30 and 7:30 in the morning in my office.

Glad to hear you are managing that pain a bit. One thing I do for my neck is to lie on my back with my hands under the heavy studio couch and lift my feet up above my head so I can let the floor massage the neck. Maybe check with your doctor to see if that might be a good one for you.

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Turning the light on may wake some people up too much; an alternative, which I use sometimes, is to use a pen that has a red light at the end. I use this one. If I were to turn an actual whiteish light on, even at a dim setting, my brain would say, “Right, that’s it then – we’re up for the day!” A dim red light does not have the same effect for me (and apparently, for a lot of people).

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Excellent news!

Saw this on Instagram so I thought I’d share it.

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True enough. But…I actually want to wake up to just the right level that allows me to enter the next sleep phase with enough conscious awareness to allow me to carry it into the dream.

That is one of the keys to a successful WILD, but it is also important when slipping into a dream after falling back to sleep.

It is a fine line.

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I used to go to bed round 10pm but I’ve had issues with waking up in the middle of the night because of my symptoms (at the beginning, stomach issue) and now I just don’t dare trying. I had such rough nights for two or three months… But actually I do believe that’s one of the best thing to do: Waking up during the night to re-arouse awareness sufficiently in order to bring some clarity in the second part of the night.

Your sleeping/dreaming pattern is really cool. I hope I’ll be able to do something like it soon. Meditating at that time must be quite interesting.

I agree with @ArthurG about the red light ! It’s way easier on the eyes. I guess it really depends on what’s your strategy/plan. White light just wakes me up way too much. When I used to write down my dreams during the night (I also tend to wake up after strong dreams) I could only used a red light. But it depends on what you want to do. “It’s a fine line” indeed :grin:

I’ve tried with my phone, even with a blue light filter but nope. It doesn’t seem to work for me.
The whole ritual of preparing my dream journal in the evening and writing on it… Somehow, it makes the practice and dreams more tangible.

Last night wasn’t really good. I took my meds and prepared my dream journal. I had anxiety from the level of pain I was in (plus the medication makes my heart beat abnormally, and it feels pretty bad) so I listened to some classical/peaceful music while visualizing to try to calm myself down but that didn’t really work out… I wrote down 5 dreams (or “dreamlets”) but most of them were scary and connected to the pain. It’s a really aggressive pain, not like the one I’ve known before. I woke up really scared, and it usually takes me a while to shake it off, because the pain remains.

I’m taking cold showers again almost daily (2-3 minutes followed by warm water :grinning:) and it does seem to help a little. If I don’t do it, I generally regret it. And yesterday, I tried taking a nap, but really quickly, the hypnagogic state turns into horrendous visions, like seeing people being beheaded (the pain triggers that kind of things, I’m not making it up) and I completely freak out. I never lean or rest my head/neck on something.

Otherwise the good news is that I have a plan in mind of where I want to go and of what I want to do.
In a nutshell, the idea would be for me to get my driving license ASAP (provided I can already turn my head around, I’ll try to disregard the pain), and then… I figured training as a Naturopath (in France, ain’t the same level as in the US or Canada) could be a really good idea as it would allow me (regardless of what I’m taught) to share my knowledge on diet and health (all the things I’ve learned that are mostly not translated in French) specializing in Ketogenic diet and Intermittent Fasting, that kind of stuff! I’ve been able to actually help people improve significantly through sharing the bits I had learned… And I want to do more of that! And that would also mean a real, stable financial situation… In the meanwhile, this would allow me to get more deeply involved into dream yoga :grinning: And that would also imply moving to a perhaps more “connected” place. A bigger city, or close enough to a big city.

Anyway I have quite a clear idea of a possible path. I’m open to any kind of surprise and plot twist. But at least I have a direction and a goal that gives me the strength to go on…

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how"

And thanks @_Barry for sharing :wink:

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