This is the Dream! Yes!
The dream is almost like the reverse of what you did for him, making the wooden boat for him, then scattering ashes in ocean, then heaven.
I wonder if it was a message from your son, or tied to him in any way?
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yes, it could be… this is his month… I hadn’t made that connection yet… thank you beloved!
Could it be that he reincarnated again? what an excitement! 
I will soon create a new message on my English blog with the English text you had the initiative to create, and post it here.
Infinite Gratitude.
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These exchanges amongst us are so sacred and beautiful! Deep bows of gratitude to you all for sharing your most deeply intimate and illuminated of reflections, dear ones!
Centering now on the practicalities of developing dharma wills/boxes, I am placing here these words directly from Andrew’s book, “Preparing to Die”, Chapter One, WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF BEFORE YOU DIE, pages 61-64.
To be sure, I will be emailing the same to all dear friends from the recent Pure Lands “Playshop” who expressed interest in dharma wills, as some may not be NCC “all essential community functions” members.
Offered with and through Great Love. Enjoy!
Dharma Wills and the Dharma Box
… Anyen Rinpoche offers good advice on dharma wills, entrusted dharma friends and the dharma box.
(Footnote; see Anyen Rinpoche, Dying with Confidence, 22-40. This is a practical short book on how to prepare for death.)
These are practical measures that will ensure that you, and your dharmic caregivers implement the practices and teachings that you want when you die. Briefly, entrusted dharma friends are those who carry out your dharma will, which they will find in your dharma box.
Entrusted dharma friends are spiritual friends who agree to help each other die, according to the directives left in their dharma wills. These spiritual friends create a pact with each other. They share their dharma wills, and their visions for how they want to die. Then they implement those wishes. It’s good to meet every year to update your wishes and to share new insights or teachings around death. If an entrusted friend gets seriously ill, the group gathers to develop a strategy of spiritual care.
Choose your entrusted, Dharma friends with this in mind: who do you want at your side when you die? Who do you trust to manage your death and therefore even the seeding of your next life? Who do you want to Take control when you no longer can?
The dharma will is an informal document that tells our dharma friends what we want them to do during and after our death. It designates our entrusted friends, provides contact information for our teachers so that they can be notified of our condition, lists the information for the monasteries (And how to contact them) if we want specific ceremonies performed for us, when to conduct post-death, rituals, etc. Even though the dharma will is more informal than a legal will, there could be areas where they overlap. You may want to check with an attorney to see if what you’re requesting can actually be carried out.
(At this point in the book, Andrew footnotes Appendix 1 in Preparing to Die, pages 311 to 332. I am including only his introduction to this appendix below in lieu of thoroughly writing them out in their entirety. However, consulting these checklists and completing those that resonate for you is at the very heart of developing a dharma will and dharma box.)
Andrew writes:
The following checklists are offered as a help, not as a burden. Don’t feel that the death is imperfect or that you’re letting the dead person down. If you can’t do everything listed below. If you’re the one, don’t pressure yourself or others into doing everything. Take what you need and ignore the rest. If you need help implementing these suggestions, call on your friends. Talk through these lists with your entrusted dharma friends, and choose the items that are important to you. Finally, even though these lists are in separate categories, there is some overlap.
Returning now to page 62 in Preparing to Die;
Visit funeral homes now to discuss any special requests, then leave the name of the funeral home in your dharma will. If you die in a hospital, but want time for your family to be with your body at your home, leave this request in your dharma will.
Anyen Rinpoche says,” If we do not actually write these documents in a timely manner and give them to our family and trusted dharma friends, and place extra copies in our dharma box, we risk losing precious opportunities for liberation when we die.”
After you write your dharma will, review and amended annually. Do I see things differently this year? What’s important to me now? This annual review also helps you evaluate your spiritual progress and reminds you of impermanence.
The dharma box is a box that contains everything our spiritual friends need to know, and to have, to help us die. Visualize your ideal death. Then write down what others need to know to make it happen. Who do you want with you, what do you want around you, what teachings do you want read to you? Be mindful not to overwhelm your entrusted friends with unreasonable requests. This is why it’s important to discuss your dharma wills with each other. Is this something that others can actually implement? How would you feel if they asked you to do this?
The box would include copies of your legal documents, ritual items, liturgies you want read (including several copies of these liturgies if you want others to read them together), and instructions for family and friends. And inform your family, or other “nonspiritual “friends who may be involved with your death about this box and the instructions it contains. Otherwise, it could be awkward if your spiritual friends arrive to carry out your directives and inadvertently push other loved ones aside. Let your family know that it’s your heartfelt wish to have your spiritual friends help you with your death. It’s your present job to ease the future job of your entrusted friends. Your spiritual friends should then do everything possible to include outsiders. They should explain the practices and rituals and welcome outside family to participate.
In addition to formal advanced directives, it’s important to have discussions with family members about your wishes for end-of-life care. Inform non-Buddhist family and friends of your need for a calm and peaceful environment. Let them know that if they are too outwardly emotional they may be asked to leave. Explain why. These uneasy discussions can prevent really uncomfortable situations at the time of your death.
Appendix 1 offers further suggestions for what to place in the dharma box. Make sure family and friends know where it can be found.
Creating your Dharma will, placing your ritual items, sacred texts, and wishes in the dharma box, and having trusted spiritual friends to put it all into effect helps everyone to relax- the key instruction for a good death. Imagine your peace of mind knowing that everything possible is being done for you by people you trust, and at a time when you need it the most.
Final advice
(Here I am skipping ahead to the very end of this chapter….)
Sogyal Rinpoche Summarizes his advice:” At the moment of death, there are two things that Count: Whatever we have done in our lives, and what state of mind we are in at that moment… Be free of attachment and aversion. Keep your mind pure. And unite your mind with the Buddha.”
(Then Andrew concludes by writing…)
My own heart-advice is to practice the good heart, which creates good karma. Practice shamatha to stabilize your mind. Let go.
I hope this direct copying from “Preparing to Die" serves all readers on this dharma wills/dharma box thread very well!
And please, if you feel a thorough copying of all the checklists in Appendix 1 will also be of service, let me know. I would be happy to do so. It’s only time! And a labor of love! 
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thank you so much for the nectar of your good heart practice to shower us with all this love and joy.
I will need some time to integrate, savor it all and listen deeply to my heart wishes.
In the mean time, I have come up with the English version of my son’s transition:
http://vandapereiraspath.blogspot.com/
(did the dedication of merit after publishing it - just now)
It was great being in contact with all the details again and connecting with SO MANY miracles! It will also be a source of inspiration for my Dharma Box/Will.
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Thank you for sharing this monumentally important passage. I read it 1 time a year ago, and it hit home then, but I did not act on it.
Putting pen to paper, I am now seeing why these are such powerful spiritual practices, and how much peace of mind and heart they can provide.
Thank you all for the contributions. I have a lot more homework to do.
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Yes, NightHawk999, as do I! A most sacred labor of love, yes? And the promise of great peace of mind, my friend. I’m happy that your re-reading this passage may serve you so very well! 
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Greetings everyone!
I am happy to share the attached 17 pages (in two parts due to upload size limits of 8 MB on this app) borrowed directly from Andrew’s “Preparing to Die” that comprise APPENDIX 1: CHECKLISTS ( pp 311-324) and associated notes ( pp 393-395) in support of all visitors to this Dharma Will/Box thread. With an apology for the imperfect and therefore tilted pages! Might make you a wee-bit dizzy! 
I hope this offering nevertheless serves to further each other and all our friends and loved ones on in this fantastic voyage of Life! With Metta and Karuna!
APPENDIX 1 CHECKLIST PART ONE .PDF (5.1 MB)
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…and to complete the share of APPENDIX 1: CHECKLISTS ( pp 311-324) and associated notes from Andrew’s “Preparing to Die”, here is the second part.
APPENDIX 1 CHECKLIST PART TWO .PDF (5.1 MB)
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I am going to read this tonight, thank you for sharing
Both you Beloveds (@BlessingsDeers & @Kalabasis ) inspired me to crack open the P2D text last night from where I left off a few months ago. Thank you for that blessing:
The page where I had the book mark had this mantra listed that I have never heard before:
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From Dr H’s website:
" A legal will is a document that says how you want your money and belongings to be distributed after you die. For Buddhists, in addition to having a traditional will, it is a good idea to also have a “Dharma Will.” The ideas is to ensure that your caregivers implement the practices and teachings that you desire when you die. Entrusted dharma friends are those who can carry out your Dharma Will, which they will find in your Dharma Box.
Start Your Dharma Will Process by Reaching Out to a Core Group of Spiritual Friends
The idea is to gather a core group of spiritual friends who agree to help each other die according to the directives left in each person’s Dharma Will. These spiritual friends create a pact with each other, share their Dharma Wills and their visions for how they would like to die, and basically support each other’s wishes for a spiritual death according to the recommendations of their teacher or community. If an entrusted friend gets seriously ill, the group gathers to develop a strategy of spiritual care.
- Choose your entrusted dharma friends with this in mind:
- Who do you want at your side when you die, who can you take refuge in during this crucial time?
- Who do you trust to manage your death, and therefore even the seeding of your next life?
- Who do you want to take control when you no longer can?
Write Your Dharma Will
The Dharma Will is an informal document that will direct your dharma friends as to what you want them to do during and after your death.
Some of the things your Dharma Will should do:
- Designate your entrusted friends who will carry out your wishes and how to contact them
- Provide contact information for your teachers so they can be notified of your condition
- List the information for the monasteries or retreat centers (and how to contact them) if you want specific ceremonies performed for you
- Which post death rituals you want and when to conduct them.
Even though the spirit of the Dharma Will is more informal than official legal wills, there could be areas where they overlap. You may want to check with an attorney to see if what you are requesting can actually be carried out. Appendix I offers suggestions for what to put into this Will (see “Spiritual Check List,” and “Farewell Check List.”)
Where Will Your Body Go After You Die
Anyen Rinpoche suggests visiting funeral homes now to discuss any special requests in advance, and leaving the name of the funeral home in your Dharma Will. If you die in a hospital, but want some time immediately after your death for your family and friends to be with you at your home, leave this request in your Dharma Will. Rinpoche says, “If we do not actually write these documents in a timely manner and give them to our family and entrusted Dharma friends, and place extra copies in our Dharma Box, we risk losing precious opportunities for liberation when we die.”
Where to Keep Your Dharma Will: The Dharma Box
The Dharma Box is an actual box that contains everything your spiritual friends need to know to help you die. A powerful practice is to envision your own ideal death. Who do you want with you, what do you want around you, what teachings do you want read to you? Visualize your good death in detail, then write in your Dharma Will what others need to know to actualize it, and place your wishes in your Dharma Box. Be mindful not to overwhelm your entrusted friends with unreasonable details and requests. This is why it is good to discuss your Dharma Wills with each other in advance, asking for honest feedback: is this something that others can actually implement, how would you feel if they asked you to do this?
The box would also include copies of your legal documents, ritual items, liturgies or practice texts you want read (several copies of these liturgies if you want others to read them together), and instructions for family and friends. Appendix I offers further suggestions for what to place in the Dharma Box.
Inform Your Non-Buddhist Friends and Family of Your Dharma Will and Dharma Box
Inform your family, or other non-Buddhist friends who may be involved with your death, about this box and the instructions it contains. Otherwise it could be awkward if a well-meaning team of spiritual caregivers arrives to carry out your spiritual directives. As with most after death practical preparations, we really do them for our loved ones.
Let outside family and friends know in advance that it is your heartfelt final wish to have like-minded spiritual friends help you with your death. It is your present job to ease the future job of your entrusted friends. Your spiritual friends should then do everything possible to include outsiders, explaining the practices and rituals, and welcoming outside family to participate.
Update Your Dharma Will Annually
After you write your Dharma Will, review and amend it annually. Do I see things differently this year, what is important to me now? This annual review can also help you evaluate your spiritual progress, and remind you of the easily forgotten truth of impermanence. Once you arrange your group of Dharma friends and share your collective vision and personal Dharma Wills, you could meet every year to update your wishes, and to share new insights and teachings around death.
Creating your Dharma Will, placing your ritual items, sacred texts, and wishes in a Dharma Box, and having trusted spiritual friends to put it all into effect generates tremendous ease and relaxation — the key instructions for a good death. Imagine your peace of mind knowing that everything possible is being done for you, by people you trust, and at a time when you need it the most.
References:
Anyen Rinpoche offers a wonderful suggestion with his teaching on Dharma Wills, entrusted dharma friends, and the Dharma Box.[1] See pages 22-40 in “Dying With Confidence,” by Anyen Rinpoche. This is a very practical short book on how to prepare for death.
“When the last hour is at hand, you will stand at a crossroad. If you have prepared in advance, you will be ready to move on with great ease and confidence, like an eagle soaring in the sky. If not…you will journey again and again though the passages of life, death and rebirth”- Tulku Thondup
Excerpt from Andrew’s book, “Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition”
Reviews
‘Offers generous spiritual and practical guidance to help us develop confidence and compassion wherever there is fear–our own or others’–confronting death. A significant contribution to the continued transplantation of the Buddha’s wisdom in Western culture. May all beings benefit!’ – Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche, author of Mind Beyond Death
‘Preparing to Die is such a timely gift for all of us. The book is filled with nectar-like religious and practical wisdom on how to make the best of the most profitable time of our lives. It is packed with clear and practical details and adorned with great love and care. This handbook is for anyone who will die and wishes to journey with the joyful blessing light of Dharma.’ Tulku Thundop, author of Peaceful Death Joyful Rebirth
‘A welcome addition to the literature on the Buddhist approach to death and dying. What is remarkable about this book is the way that Holecek intermingles profound spiritual insights with practical and up-to-date advice for people facing death or taking care of those who are dying.’ Judith L. Lief, author of Making Friends with Death
“Presents many different points of view and practices found within Tibetan Buddhism, and the author is skillful in introducing them within their proper context, so that the reader can understand their underlying significance. Particularly inspiring is the ‘heart-advice’ in Part Three, drawn from interviews with a selection of Tibetan masters. This advice ranges from a focus on specific rituals to the simplicity of the Dzogchen approach, but all emphasize the fundamental importance of one’s state of mind: for those who are dying, letting go, and for those who attend them, love.”—Francesca Fremantle, translator of The Tibetan Book of the Dead"
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thank you SO much for this beloved @Kalabasis !
it’s perfectly imperfect! 
wonderful… thanks for sharing the mantra!
read the text along acompaning the video: “Recite this mantra to liberate those who are born in the lower realms. You can place the mantra on the dying body, to purify that being’s negative karma and transfer the consciousness to a pure land or a higher realm. This mantra purifies and blesses the environment.”
Thanks also for sharing the Dr H’s website contents + the article from AH 
this is deep and very intimate stuff!
taking some time to digest it all.
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The ‘Burning Man festival’ is what I shared above, was being punny in the email.
Looking forward to discussing the more intimate details in a smaller private setting with you Beloveds, but that being said I would also like to share broader strokes here and brain storm with the Collective:
Funeral Arrangements [X}
Now need to wok on death bed care:
Dying Fast Plan [ O ]
Dying Slow plan[ O ]
I figure if you dont have a playbook for both senarios, and other curve balls, the Dharma Will will be ill prepared
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yes, I got after some time contemplating on it.
I will read the whole thing soon and contribute, both in collective and in also in a more intimate space. thank you for this.
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No, Thank you, My heart. Very Grateful for this thread.
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Happy to share on this thread YouTube links to two tunes I may include in my dharma will play list.
The second song is one my son matthew (obm) would’ve chosen as it is by one of his favorite bands. 
We are the fortunate ones who get to be whole again.
the pyramid song-nothing to fear nothing to doubt
Love this quote-“to one who is awake, this world and nibbana are really one and the same. But for us ordinary beings who are not yet fully awakened, we require myth symbol ritual meditation and art to transform our misguided perception of reality to see things in a new way…to see things as they really are. “
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beloved Michael, this question comes from the heart… how did your son die?
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The essence of the being who was during its most previous human birth named Matthew Hatzakis Schoenberg transmigrated on January 28,2024 as a result of a fentanyl overdose. He struggled for years with existential dread, emotional sensitivity anxiety and depression and a legacy of treating his dukkha with pharmaceuticals. A recent divorce and associated crescendoing financial avalanche of debt and acute loneliness and longing for his Lord and Savior led to his seeking relief as he did, even tho we spoke to him the night before and he led on his was fine. In retrospect, I believe he had seen enough. And there’s no doubt he had transmigrated with great faith and open heart in Jesus Christ as his savior and cried out to him at the Moment of entering the bardos.
Just as John the baptizer said, there is no doubt in mind that with his lord’s help Matt continues to see to it the comforter or advocate has come for me his mother and his brother in his wake, and may not have ever come had Matt not departed this realm. 
“But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. “ John 16:7
What a beautiful and mysterious journey we are on,yes?
One thing I learned from the course in miracles that has always stayed with me: “ No one dies without their own consent.”
Thank you for asking dear one. Shared from the heart as well.
And here is another favorite song of beloved Matthew’s, Aeroplane over the Sea. Rather prescient , to be sure! 
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Thank you Barry. Yes, we can only imagine how you two might have gotten on had you met. Alas! I visit dear friends in Pelham quite often. Perhaps we could meet for a cuppa at a mutually convenient time?
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deeply touched with your sharing. connected with him… very sensitive indeed. Felt that going was the way for him to open his heart again… fully… had the impression that it could not have been done in any other way.
my brother killed himself in 1992 and, as you can imagine, I researched a little bit about why someone would do such a thing… learned that one of the reasons is indeed to communicate a message that only in this way they feel it can be conveyed. I also feel that my brother’s sacrifice was a luminous blessing to the whole family awakening. Many times I had the feeling that the life, unconditional love and support I have had (and still do) from my parents, for sure is connected with this message he chose to deliver.
Yes. When such events happen, a kind of reset occurs, and we have the privilege of experiencing life as if it was a first time, in many areas of our lives. In the last years I have learned to do so, in attending spiritual classes and teachings - it’s also a way of upgrading our thinking, mindset and enchantments. It happened recently in the Pure Lands Pilgrimage with AH… After the first couple of days I had the strong lucidity I was closing a kind of enchantment and entering a new one. Life indeed is fascinating.
love it!
Thank you for your kind generosity and lightful heart. What a Blessing it is to be your friend. See you very soon beloved Michael.
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