Embracing Angry Male and All Women - September 1 2018
- 8 mg galantamine + 125 mg L-DOPA
- WBTB
NOTE: at about 3:30 I woke from a non-lucid dream and took 125 mg L-DOPA. I read Holocek’s Dream Yoga for a while; about an hour later I took 8 mg. Galantamine, set intention to lucid dream, went back to sleep. About an hour later I woke from the following lucid dream:
I’m walking outside a city street. I think at this point I didn’t realize I was dreaming. Tried to check my messages on my phone, hearing an unusual voice. Don’t really understand what’s happening. Also my phone is a small cylinder.
I lie down on a bench, start to fall asleep. I wake up on the bench, my vision is super-fuzzy and I’m thinking that I’m dreaming—pretty sure I just realize right away that I’m dreaming. I wait for my vision to clear, which it does over a few minutes. I look at the bench, see my sleeping body (I don’t think I realized that I’m lucid within a frame dream.)
I start walking.
At one point a guy comes up to me, seems threatening, angry. At first I think we’re going to fight. I decide to embrace him with love, say “It’s OK, you’re OK.” It affects both of us emotionally. A very touching moment. He kind of relaxes. Can’t recall if we start crying but if not we’re close.
Toward the end of the dream, I’m walking along the street talking to an old woman, she’s talking about visiting her family, there’s a therapist she sees there. As she’s talking I realize it’s a free clinic or something she can afford; also she can only visit once a year. “Life is so short and it goes by so quickly,” I say to her. I feel a lot of resonance with her. A bit after that I tell her, “I’m dreaming right now.” She looks at me strangely, so I add “Just kidding!”
There are a couple of times when I walk down many flights of stairs thinking “OK, we’re going to go deeper (into my psyche).” At one point I walk down many stairs, come into a large room that has a Buddhist temple motif. Very excited, I run towards the front of the class. (NOTE: I had intended before returning to sleep to see if I could meet a dream teacher.) By the time I get there the space has transformed, music with really weird lyrics is playing. Then a female comedian talks about oral sex being different for men and women.
There’s a part where I decide to fly. I do so, but I’m super close to the ground, which is annoying me. Keep trying to rise up higher, and finally do and fly for a bit at a great height, with a great view.
At one point I’m sitting at a table eating, at first not really paying much attention. I see a lemon tart and think, “I could totally eat this lemon tart, and it’ll be delicious!” I eat it and it is vividly super-delicious. I think I couldn’t really eat this in real life, but I can eat it here without any consequences! I even think that in real life it would be kind of gross, but here it is delicious.
There’s a point where I’m thinking How long is this going to go on? It seems epic!
At one point walking along the street I start to think of spiders, and think Shut up! Shut up! I consciously decide not to go there. And I didn’t! No spiders appeared.
At one point I’m in a big room, a guy is sitting off to the side. I notice there are some pictures on the wall, he makes a comment about them—but then I realize he is really commenting on the large fish tank under the pictures. I go over to that spot and watch the fish, having some weird thoughts about a predator fish realizing something about animals being eaten, but the prey animals haven’t realized it yet…this happening early in evolution…
There’s also a scene in which I have really intense interactions with a woman. Some sort of emotional conversation. I end up hugging her, she morphs through all kinds of different women…maybe all women I’ve been significantly involved with, or maybe just many different forms. Finally she is a short woman with straight brown hair. Even though she doesn’t look like her in waking life, I think she represents the first girl I had a serious crush on.
