😴 Dream Sharing Group Update

Looking to keep it going. Interested? Please contact Toni Porrello toneironaut@gmail.com

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I like the idea of a dream sharing group in theory, but when I tried the NC version before, there were things I didn’t like about the format:

  • groups were too big for my liking

  • there was no boundary on time – sometimes people would come in well after the start time; I’d rather have the metaphorical door closed 5 minutes in

  • It was always a random assortment of people – dream groups I’ve liked in the past had the same people for a period of time, so you could get to know each other and deepen over time

My ideal dream sharing group would be 6ish (or fewer) people meeting regularly for a defined period of time (e.g. weekly for 3 months). Either in person or VR ideally.

Something else I noticed was that people in the NC dream group weren’t always paying attention, which I think is important. The last straw for me is when someone came late and proceeded to read a newspaper while people were sharing dreams. EGAD. (NOTE: this was long before Toni started hosting, I have no idea what it’s been like recently. And obviously, I’m just stating my personal preferences; other formats could work well for other people.)

Arthur, the Group evolved over the past year (plus) and has been cohesive, supportive, instructive, and has developed into its own sangha with attendees from many countries and time zones. I learned something almost every week.

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Sounds great! Follow-up questions:

  1. how big is the group, typically?
  2. Is it considered OK for people to arrive arbitrarily late, or is there a closing of the space after a certain amount of time past the start time?
  3. Is there a regular cohort, or does the makeup of the group change over time?
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The group is usually 12-14 people. Once in a while a new person comes in but mostly regulars. Toni does a nice job of keeping everything on track. We share how our week has gone, a dream and our intentions for the week. We can ask for feedback or not and there is always enough time for discussions and techniques. Arbitrarily late? Sometimes people come in late due to time differences but it is not really a big thing. I don’t mind if someone comes in a few minutes late and sometimes people have to leave early. It’s a fixed two hours and usually goes close to the limit, though sometimes it may end 20 minutes early. There’s about a dozen regular and a few who are calling in from Europe, The Amazon and other locales, but all are welcome. It’s non-judgemental, totally supportive and we care about each other. It’s a Sangha.

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I found the dream share group hugely valuable. I’m a bit too disorganised at this time to commit - but even the few sessions I attended - my lucid dreaming practice altered quite radically because of the focus & group synergy afforded. I would definitely come back at a later point.

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I just heard the reason (in the Virtual Hangout replay) for the cancelling of the dream share group. After being involved in the field of psychotherapy for 30 years - I actually really understand the reasons for the decision.

Although I think the value of the meeting (my personal but minimal experience) was high - overall I had a nagging feeling about the validity of such a group online.

This type of group - imho - would have extremely positive effect if held in person and under the guidance of a highly qualified therapist. I believe this because dream share is deeply imaginative in that I feel we are effectively working with the bridging of the conscious mind to the subconscious.

A sacred space equipped with highly qualified therapists who can use the space to facilitate deep healing - but also crucially to guard against the many subtle pitfalls - might be the ticket. I wish I could be in a room each week in person with such a group for a sacred exploration of this nature.
(P.s. Must add that Toni P is awesome imho.)

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I believe people will self-select if they need another level of support and that does happen in these groups, in my experience. When I did the recent retreat with Charlie Morley there was a trained Psychotherapist on with us and he frequently interacted with people one-on-one as sometimes the PTSD experiences warranted individual attention. That group has continued into two Dream Sharing Groups amongst ourselves because we all know the parameters of what we are doing there as well as we all know and respect each other. We are not sponsored, but rather it is a cooperative effort.

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Thanks for the details, Barry. Overall it sounds like a good format.

I don’t mind if people come in a few minutes late. More than about 5 minutes and I personally find it disruptive. I feel the same way about people coming to a yoga or meditation session late. It’s an individual preference/decision. If I’m going to an event like this and I end up late, I conclude that I, sadly, missed the event this time around.

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That’s ideal in my opinion. I’ve done a fair amount of group therapy in the past and it’s powerful. Currently I don’t have the budget for that, and a lot of people don’t, or don’t have local opportunities to do such groups.

Peer groups are different but can also be powerful in their own way.

I have mixed feelings about the Zoomish format. I do that with Jennifer Dumpert’s (free) monthly dream circle, and I like that. However in general if I couldn’t meet in person locally, my second preference would be to meet in virtual reality, because there you feel embodied in a space together, something that doesn’t happen in a 2D screen format. But most people don’t yet have access to VR equipment.

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@ArthurG
I have don’t yet have access to VR equipment but that format sounds fascinating.
Thanks for your feedback, yes so true about budget and also local opportunities.
I’m thinking of tribal communities and how dream sharing was closely woven into the culture and given huge importance - as it was recognised that the imagination was the key to enlightened living.

So sad that in our ‘civilised’ society as a whole - we’re steered toward trivialising dreams and imagination and shutting down our creativity thus.

Be great to see dream sharing used in workplaces, schools, prisons and all institutions alike.

Since joining nightclub my two young adult sons and I have been sharing our dreams and using techniques learnt in Toni P’s sessions to wonderful effect.

:pray:t3::crystal_ball::prayer_beads::earth_americas::star2:

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Thank you, @Loraine and I’m happy to know that you have been able to apply things you learned from our group into your life! I hope to see you again one day!

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Thanks @_Barry for answering so thoroughly. @ArthurG I remember you well, and sorry you had that experience before I was leading! I have other things in mind that I am going to implement in order to keep the group to people that are serious about the subject, and not just there for a one-off. As far as being late, I will allow it for regulars who I know are serious and will not be distracting upon entry, but I will not for newcomers. Thanks for bringing this up. I wondered why you didn’t continue and the feedback is useful. <3

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Yes, while dream sharing group can be therapeutic, it is by no means, therapy, and should not replace such. It is a Sangha- a sacred space to be in the company of pure existence where we can engage in spiritual learning through community. In this group, it’s with a focus on dreaming and lucid dreaming. I will ensure going forward that the perception is such and, as therapeutic and helpful it may be for for our minds, spiritual learning and practices, disclaimers will be made to articulate the importance of understanding that this group is not to be considered therapy or a place for psychological help.

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@toneironaut Yes I have actually really missed the group’s energy. I too hope to see you again - sooner rather than later.

Namaste & hugs :purple_heart::heart::orange_heart:

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Are there any updates on this? I’m intrigued by what people are saying about how the dream group changed over time, and considering rejoining if it fits my schedule. I emailed @toneironaut several days ago and haven’t heard anything so far

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We skipped this weekend due to personal commitments and Andrew’s Shambhala retreat, which some of us attended. You should hear from Toni by the weekend as she is juggling several things and is an excellent group facilitator.

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Barry, is it being held at a regular time, and if so, what is that? If the time/day don’t work for me, it’ll be a very easy decision on whether to give it a whirl :grinning:

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My understanding is that it will continue on Sundays at the same time, 11:00AM MT, 10 AM on the west coast and 1:00PM for us on the East Coast. Not exactly sure in Europe or South America. That’s unofficial till Toni emails participants as she will be the host, but that is where we left it, all the participants present two weeks ago in agreement. Hope this helps.

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